


Want

by blackimpala



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, s9 spoilers, s9e06 continuation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-14
Updated: 2013-11-14
Packaged: 2018-01-01 11:59:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1044566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackimpala/pseuds/blackimpala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After leaving Cas in Idaho several hours, Dean decides to go back to see Cas because he needs to see him, although he isn't sure what he is going to do or say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Want

**Author's Note:**

> I have too many feels from last episode, so I wrote this.

It’s been several of hours since Dean left Cas in the gas station. The journey from Idaho to Kansas is really long and boring. But at least he has his tapes, making the journey less boing. But there’s something going on Dean’s mind since he left. He can’t stop thinking about Cas.

That night, Cas told him that he always had to sleep in the gas station because he didn’t have any place to sleep. His salary isn’t enough to rent a house or a flat or a motel room. When Dean listened to that, his heart broke. He is the one responsible for that, he was the one who kicked Cas out of the bunker. So Dean, without thinking about it for two seconds, he gave Cas one of his credit cards and Dean rented a motel room. It isn’t the best thing, Dean knows it, after growing up in motel rooms, he is sure as hell that he must know every single motel in the USA, he knows that it isn’t the best place to live, but it’s better than sleeping in a bag in a gas station. And of course, this would be temporary; until Zeke leaves Sam’s body.

It had been months since Cas and Dean saw each other. Dean was so happy to see Cas, he was alive and he was doing pretty good by himself, but Cas was quite distant, but Dean can’t judge him, after telling Cas to leave without any reason, without any explanation, that’s the less Dean can deserve from Cas.

Dean wants Cas in the bunker more than anyone. He wishes that Cas was right there, riding in the Impala with him, going home together. But he isn’t and Dean hates that. He hates having to say goodbye to Cas, neither of them wanted to say goodbye. He hates all the things he can’t tell him. He hates all the things he wanted to tell him yesterday and he couldn’t. He hates a lot of things about what is happening between he and Cas.

Dean needs Cas, he needs him a lot. Those days when he didn’t know about Cas were really hard. He intended to call him, but Dean didn’t know what to say, and he was sure that Cas wouldn’t answer.

He sighs, tired and frustrated. His chest hurts and he doesn’t know what to do. He knows what he wants to do. He wants to turn around and go back to Idaho, to tell him, we’re going home, Cas. But he can’t. Dean hates himself for all of that, for all the pain he is causing to Cas. He hates himself for all the things he wants to do and to say to Cas but he isn’t doing or saying.

He was about to tell Cas that he couldn’t let him go on a date because, although he wants Cas to be happy, a part inside Dean wants Cas for himself. He wants to have Cas in ways he has never had someone before, and he is scared about it. That’s why in the last moment, he told Cas that he had to wear better clothes instead of telling him to stay in the Impala, to stay with him, because that’s what Dean wants. Dean wants Castiel.

Fuck it. Dean turns the wheel and the Impala is now going back to Idaho. It is been eight hours of driving, and there are going to be eight more to find Cas, but Dean doesn’t care. He needs to see Cas again. He isn’t sure what he is going to do or say, but he needs to see him one more time.

The journey last a bit less than eight hours, Dean drove the Impala quite fast. Now he is in the motel’s parking lot, inside the Impala, looking at Cas’ room. It is night, and he knows Cas is in the room because the lights are on. Dean is nervous, he doesn’t know what to do in that moment. He must look like a stalker or something. This was a bad idea, he knows it. But he has done that long journey to come back, he can’t just stay sitting in the Impala the whole night. He made his decision to go back to see Cas. Face to face, not watching Cas’ silhouette on the room’s window.

Dean takes a deep breath. He doesn’t understand why he is so nervous. He has to nut up, to leave the car and go towards that door and then, he will make things up as they go, like it has always been.

He walks out of the Impala and walks slowly towards the door. He raises his hand to knock on the door a couple of times and he waits. After some seconds, the door is opened, showing Cas behind it, and Dean can’t help a twist in his gut and some itch in his fingers; Cas has his dark hair really messy, he is wearing a t-shirt and boxers. Dean finds him cuter than ever, but when Cas tilts his head, like he always does when he is confused, Dean’s heart skips a beat. That’s what he is losing for not having Cas at the bunker, seeing him like that, so human, so cute, so gorgeous.

“Dean.” Cas starts to say confused. He half-closes his eyes. “It is quite late. What are you doing here?”

Honestly, Dean doesn’t know what to say. That he is here because he wants to take him to the bunker although he can’t do it because of reasons he can’t tell him yet? Or that he wanted to see him because he doesn’t know why he is feeling the urge to do it? Or that he just realized that he wants Cas and he is terrified of that? He needs to tell him something and he doesn’t know what. Cas is waiting for an answer, and all Dean can focus on is how sexy Cas looks like that and how much he wants to feel Cas in his skin.

“Dean.” Cas says again. He looks worried. Dean hasn’t said a word for too long and Cas is too confused. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything.” Dean answers looking at Cas’ blue eyes.

Cas opens his mouth a bit, tilting his head, and then, Dean approaches Cas, cupping Cas’ face and he kisses him in a frustrated and needy way. He can feel the confusion in Cas’ lips and Dean is hearing several voices in his head telling him that it is great to kiss Cas finally, but there are others saying that it is a bad idea, that he shouldn’t have done that, but those voices go quiet when Dean feels Cas kissing him back, approaching his body to Dean and grabbing fiercely Dean’s t-shirt.

The kiss is needy and frustrated. They haven’t realized how much both of them wanted that until that moment, and now, they can’t stop moving their mouths together, warming and drenching their lips as the kiss goes on, letting out a feeling that both tried to bury but, no mattered how hard they tried, they couldn’t do it.

Cas pulls away from the kiss and takes a breath. He looks at Dean, trying to know if it is a dream or if it isn’t. His hands move from Dean’s t-shirt to Dean’s face, cupping it while Dean stares at Cas, feeling Cas’ warm hands touching him. Then, Cas kiss him again and pulls him into the room while Dean closes the door.

The kiss is passionate; Dean runs his fingers in the mess of Cas’ dark hair in a desperate way while Cas pushes Dean against the door as he strokes Dean’s side face with one hand and the neck with the other. Dean pulls Cas closer, squeezing their noses.  
They break the kiss for a moment, just to breath, and then, they kiss again. Cas starts to take off Dean’s jacket and shirt hurriedly, he needs to feel Dean’s skin, all of it. Then, his hands go to unbutton Dean’s jeans, but in that moment, Dean breaks the kiss.

“Wait, Cas.” Dean says. Their lips are almost touching and it is very tempting to kiss Cas again; his mouth is addicting.  
Cas looks at Dean worried. “Did I do something I shouldn’t have done?” Cas asks.

Dean looks at him. There’s fear in his eyes. “No, Cas, no— why do you—?” And Dean realizes that he broke the kiss really hurriedly, as he didn’t want any of that. “Oh, crap, no, I just wanted to take my boots off and my socks so you can pull my jeans without any problem.” He explains blushed as he takes off the boots and the socks.

Cas blushes a lot, but he is relieved to hear that. “Oh, sorry Dean I thought—” But he is interrupted with a kiss.

“I’m not going anywhere. I want this.” He strokes Cas’ cheeks with his thumbs.

“Me too.”

Cas kisses him again, fiercely, and he takes off Dean’s jeans as fast as he can. Dean is now taking off Cas’ t-shirt. He moves his hands, stroking Cas’ chest, it feels so warm, so good, better than he could even imagine. Soon, Cas takes off Dean’s t-shirt and he strokes Dean’s chest, just how Dean did, traveling it with his hands, feeling Dean’s skin behind his fingertips.

They take off each other’s boxers and Dean grabs Cas’ legs, lifting him and Cas puts his legs around Dean’s waist. They can’t help a smile for that. Cas embraces Dean’s neck while he carries both of them to the bed. Dean lies Cas in the bed and Dean places himself above Cas.

They look at each other, both of them naked, exposed, like they have never seen each other. Cas caresses Dean’s jaw and moves his hand until it arrives at Dean’s shoulder, where the print of his hand used to be. Dean meanwhile is stroking Cas’ sides, feeling his ribs. They are looking at each other in a special way. They know that gaze, they have always made it several times along the years, but this time it is a bit different, they aren’t hiding what they feel, they are showing that they want to feel each other, that they need, that they want this.

Dean leans and kisses Cas, who is gripping Dean’s hair and stroking one of Dean’s blades. They can feel their cocks are hard and Dean rocks his hips, making Cas to let out soft moans while they kiss. Suddenly, Dean feels how Cas opens his mouth wide to give him a kiss with tongue, and fuck, Dean is loving how Cas’ tongue is moving in his mouth that he can’t help a muffled moan.

Dean grabs Cas’ legs as they kiss in that dirty way, now his tongue is swirling with Cas’ too, and Dean places Cas legs around his waist. He needs to feel Cas in that way, he has needed it for too long that he can’t wait anymore, so he starts to get his cock inside Cas slowly.

Cas pulls away from the kiss to let out a moan. He hasn’t felt something like that ever. It burns at first, but when Dean’s cock is almost inside him, Cas feels a pleasure that he can’t describe. Dean is filling his emptiness, he is making him feel warmer than ever, better than in his whole life. He lets out another moan when Dean’s cock is fully inside him and he rocks his hips.

“Dean— Dean— this is—” Cas moans. “Please, don’t stop.”

And Dean complies as he can’t help a smirk, because he is inside Cas, after all this time, he is inside Cas, feeling him in that wonderful way and Cas is loving it, he needs Dean to keep fucking him, because Cas wants Dean inside him, and Dean feels better than in his whole life.

Dean rocks his whole body, moving in and out his cock, moaning with Cas, kissing him as much as he can, because this is the most awesome thing Dean has ever felt, and Cas too. Cas is arching his back, nailing his fingers in Dean’s back and moaning loud Dean’s name every time the hunter fills him completely. Cas is giving all he has to Dean, like he has never do before. He is exposed, Dean is seeing and feeling him in an intimate a personal way, and Cas is glad that Dean is the one who is seeing and feeling him like that.

And of course, Cas loves what Dean is making him feel. His breathing is chocked, he feels how his heart is beating faster as time pass, he is really warm and he is full. Cas closes his eyes, arching his back again, curling his toes because, damn it, this feels too good. Dean is fucking him, Dean is inside of him, Dean is touching him, Dean is kissing him, Dean is right there and is making Cas to feel something extraordinary, Cas is making noises he didn’t know he could make, he can’t control the movements of his body, and Dean is doing all of that and more. He is surrendered to Dean.

Cas raises himself a little to kiss Dean passionately and Dean runs his hands through Cas’ hair again, desperately, because he wants to feel Cas everywhere in his skin, because, holy shit, this is addicting and Dean can’t stop, he needs to show Cas how much he wants that, he wants to make Cas to feel better than in his whole life, because Dean is feeling all of that and more, he is giving everything to Cas, and he loves to be fucking Cas, how Cas doesn’t take his hands away from him, ho Cas is making him to moan, how he feels so warm when he is inside Cas, how his lungs are screaming for air, how his chest burns and bloom something awesome that he can’t describe.

“Dean—” Cas says panting. “I can’t hold on more, I have to—”

“Just come, Cas.” Dean says. His voice is sweeter than normal and Cas likes that. “I got you.”

The smile Cas makes is too sweet that Dean has to give Cas another kiss. Soon, Cas comes and lost himself in Dean, making an orgasm. His mind is filled with a sudden blank and all he can feel is Dean, who is rocking his cock inside him and Cas feels rapt.

“Cas, I have to come too.” Dean says shaking his body slower.

“Do it, Dean.” Cas says running his hand through Dean’s hair. “I got you, Dean. I got you.”

And Dean, after some seconds, comes inside Cas, making him feel even warmer. He likes the sound of Dean orgasm and how Dean’s muscles relax, how Dean closes his eyes, losing his mind for moments while Cas is holding him.

When the rapt is gone for both, they kiss in a passionate way and Dean lies next to Cas. They are sweating, panting and with their hearts beating quite fast, but they are relaxed and they feel better than in their whole life.

“Fuck—” Dean pants. Cas turns his head to see him. “That was awesome.”

“Yes, it was.” Cas smiles and kisses Dean again.

Cas is laying aside and stroking Dean’s freckled cheek with his thumb. He has never been this close to Dean before and it is great to be able to stare at Dean this close, to touch him this close.

Dean kisses Cas. He loves kissing him, and having Cas that close, is so tempting, he can’t stop kissing him. When he pulls away, he looks at Cas’ eyes, they shine more than usually and Dean likes that.

“I should have kissed you a long time ago.” Dean confesses as he messes Cas’ hair a little bit more, making Cas to purr.

“Yes, you should.” Cas says. Dean laughs and Cas too. There is a small silence between them until Cas decides to talk again. “Why did you come here again?” That question has been in his mind since Dean knocked the door. “And what did mean that everything is wrong?”

Dean hates talking, mostly because he sucks at it, but after doing that with Cas, he feels like he can do it, he can talk to him.  
Dean takes a deep breath and rubs his face. “Because I wanted to see you again, try to explain you that I am sorry for kicking you out, that I didn’t even help you a bit, and I am dick for that.” Dean says. He is looking at Cas’ tattoo and he strokes it. There is a small silence until Dean looks at Cas’ expectant eyes. “I want you Cas, I really want you, I want you in the bunker, but—” He takes a deep breath. “I promise that when I can, I will tell you everything and you will come back to the bunker, but you gotta trust me on this, Cas.”

Cas nods. “I trust you, Dean.”

Dean looks at him surprised and confused and Cas runs his hand through Dean’s hair. “Okay, awesome.” He says bewildered. He doesn’t understand why Cas trusts him after everything, but honestly, he doesn’t want that talking right now, he wants to keep enjoying how Cas is stroking his hair in that gentle way. “I will call you every time I can, like I should have done. And I will visit you. And if you need anything, just call me. Well if you want to, I’m not sure what do you want.”

“I want you, Dean.”

In that moment Dean’s heart skips a beat, his eyes open widely, because Cas wants him, like Dean wants Cas, and all Dean can do is to kiss him fiercely, shocking Cas at first, but then, the graceless angel falls from that kiss.

“But promise me one thing, Dean.” Cas says after the kiss.

“Whatever you want, Cas.” Dean says.

“That every time we see each other, we have sexual intercourse.”

Dean can’t help a smirk followed by a happy laughter. He kisses Cas again. “I promise.”

Cas smiles. “Can we have sex again? I want to be inside of you.”

“You are getting late.” Dean smirks.

Cas kisses him and places himself above Dean, cupping Dean’s face and smiling because he can’t still believe any of that. Neither can Dean.

Dean knows he will have to leave tomorrow morning, Sam must be worried for him, but meanwhile, he is going to have sex with Cas again, he is going to lost himself in Cas, as if nothing wrong was going on outside the motel room, because in that moment, the only thing that matters to both of them is that they are feeling each other, because that’s what they have always wanted.


End file.
